(you won’t be missed)
Words by: Mia Jones
Photo by: Audrey Weisburd
Photo by: Audrey Weisburd
Thank God February's finally over.
For months now, drugstore aisles have overflowed with heart-shaped boxes filled with waxy-looking chocolates, obnoxious life-sized teddy bears, love-themed candies, and the cheesiest Hallmark cards–all in the name of commodified “love.” I couldn’t even buy a box of tampons without being vomited on by your cheap affection. Although I adore rom-coms, date nights, and unapologetic expressions of love, I can’t help but notice the definite flaws in this heteronormative, commercialized holiday that breeds more issues than it does joy.
Social media is a tough place to be on a day like this. The simple act of tapping through Instagram stories feels masochistic! Why does everyone suddenly have a significant other to show off? It’s almost like all these couples have been in hiding until this one holiday comes around. Is that what this holiday is all about? Announcing to the world that you are lovable and desirable? Is Valentine’s Day rooted in selfishness and egoism?
So many of the couples you compare your own love life to have their own unique set of problems and emotional turmoil. Love is simultaneously wonderful and difficult, energizing and draining. Young love is full of jealousy, possessiveness, and can quickly turn toxic. The social media-driven comparison on Valentine’s Day is merely fiction.
This is the pinnacle of Valentine’s Day: it commercializes love and feeds on greed and capitalism. All of these businesses and stores want to make money off of couples and their efforts to show off their amazing relationships. It makes people feel like in order to really prove to someone that they love them, they need to spend buckets of money on Valentine’s Day goods and fancy dinners.
What happens if a partner doesn’t meet their significant other’s expectations? Valentine’s Day creates very high expectations for what a relationship should look like, making those who are single feel as if they are missing out or need to find someone somehow.
Historically, Valentine’s Day propaganda has always shown mainly heterosexual couples. The majority of V-Day portrayals we’ve seen through entertainment exclude the variety of couples that exist in our world. Where are the representation of nonmonogamous relationships and couples that fall outside of heteronormative?
Valentine’s Day never promotes the idea of self-love and nurturing the relationship that you have with yourself. It is nearly impossible to be in a relationship if you don’t have the capability of showing love to yourself. This holiday is just another way to enforce heteronormativity and alienate those who are trying to be happily single and work on themselves for the right person, while also capitalizing on the idea of love and creating unrealistic expectations for how to express that.
As far as “love” goes, let’s work to fill every day with self-compassion, platonic love, and beautiful connections with others. Call your mom, surprise your best friend for no reason, compliment your class crush, tuck yourself in at night, and trust the timing of your life.