Words by: Kandra Zaw
Graphic by: Audrey Weisburd
In the media, only romantic breakups are shown. In movies like How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Legally Blonde, when the friend gets dumped, the best friend is there to ease their pain. When friends fight, it is always portrayed as a passing phase- just look at Brooke and Peyton from One Tree Hill- viewers spent six seasons watching the two of them have ups and downs but ultimately remain as close as ever. In Gossip Girl, Blair and Serena are constantly stuck in a cycle of hate and love, but in the end, the power of their love prevails. In Euphoria, Cassie and Maddie were inseparable until they were not. As viewers, we were all on the edge of our seats, desperately wondering if the duo would remain together.
In television, when these dynamic duos were apart, it served to emphasize how miserable they were without each other. Seeing these iconic fictional besties fight was gut-wrenching, not only for the characters but for the viewers as well. Maybe as viewers, we were projecting, not being able to fathom a life without our other half. While a romantic relationship ending is devastating, no one really talks about what happens when friends break up. There is no guide on how to deal with this type of breakup. A best friend is someone you go to for almost everything.
Your best friend is the person who grounds you and lifts you up – it is the forever bond without an expiration date. Best friends share a secret language made of side-eyes, telepathy, and inside jokes. They are embedded in the other relationships you have built. What about the circle you and your best friend shared? The group chats and the future plans? People start to choose sides, and the awkward collateral begins.
No piece of media can quite capture what it means to lose a platonic soulmate. The newest Academy Award Nominated film, The Banshees of Inisherin, attempts to do so by depicting an abrupt end to a lifelong friendship between two men in 1920s Ireland.
It hurts so much when your best friend suddenly becomes a stranger that no one wants to talk about it. Creating this conversation is important, though, so this situation feels less isolating and more universal. As growing people, we are constantly evolving, and there is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from a dynamic you have grown out of. It is only important to move with compassion and to remain open and gentle.