Rapid Fire Questions Part I
Dear Mia, what does it mean if they never text me back / how long is too long?

I’m not going to lie, I can be such an overthinker, so I’ve let this stuff drive me crazy. I’ve spent so much time thinking about these questions, and it usually starts by thinking it's me, they don’t like me, and they don’t care. Then you tell yourself no, no, they’re just busy and they’re doing their own thing. But then you go back, well I’m busy and I find time out of my busy day to text them.

Then I think, okay it hasn’t been that long. Give it some more time “really? Okay wow yeah fuckkkk them”

2hours later
*ding*

“Yipeee” but then I think we have to wait ___ amount of time to reply.

I’ve been here! This type of roundabout thinking is so insidious. Trying to figure out why and how much time I can give them while still keeping my self-respect.

This is not a them problem, this is a me problem. The only way you’re going to figure out “why” is if you ask them and I think if you’re close enough to this person, then you definitely can in a mature way. But there’s no time limit of what is considered “too long” because I have no idea what is going on on the other side of the phone and frankly it doesn't matter. Maybe they don’t like me as much as I thought or maybe they’re busy or maybe they thought they replied or they lost their phone or maybe their dog ate their homework. It’s none of my business. The reality is, I’m not a mind reader and neither are you. The reality is, that you have your own life right in front of you to focus on and a million more important things than whether or not they’re going to text you back.

Dear Mia, how do I let someone down easy?

I feel like you’re asking me for some sort of hack or cheat code to eliminate their pain of being let down…and deep down I feel like you know there isn’t one. The thing is, many of us go through life trying to not hurt others. We tell white lies to protect people's feelings, we omit things to prevent their sorrow. The fact that you’re asking this question tells me that you’re worried about how they’re going to feel. I get it, I mean who wants to be the bearer of bad news? But this is life and the funny thing about relationships, this thing that is supposedly built out of pure love and good intentions, is that they’ll always face collateral damage in the end…on one side if not both.

The best thing you can do is to just be honest and allow them to feel whatever they need to feel. It’s not your job to protect them and in trying to do so you’ll rob them of the truth, which is a much greater injustice to them than maybe a few extra tears.

Dear Mia, asking for someone’s Snapchat vs. asking for their number, and what that means in terms of intentions? Is there a meaning??

Personally, if you’re still asking me for my Snapchat I’m gonna think that you’re a child. What are we going to do? Send half pictures of our faces with no words? Or even better, pictures with words but it disappears so no one remembers what anyone says? There’s just too much room for people to play games with Snapchat, it's not straightforward communication. There’s the whole sliding the chat to peak but not opening it, and if you do open it you have to reply ASAP to show you’re interested, because if you leave someone on open for a period of time then we get offended - but god forbid anyone leaves anyone on delivered for 14 hrs. The whole disappearing act also allows people to say some outlandish stuff with no consequences because unless you have a quick friend to take a pic of your phone, you’re not going to screenshot. But at the same time maybe the snap is on infinite time or you’re “bold” enough to replay it. Clearly, I have many qualms with Snapchat.

But I get it, our generation is all about all the different forms of social media. I mean I’ve listened to people talk about flirting through BeReal. Like really ?? Be fucking for real, because if you actually wanna talk to someone then text them. So to answer your question, yes, there’s a difference. If you want to get to know someone, text them and if you ask for my Snapchat you’re going to remind me of unsolicited dick pics.

Dear Mia, how to cum!?

Get a vibrator. Like right now.

x, Mia

PRESS