Words by: Rachel Musman
Photo by: Mia Hernandez
When I studied abroad this summer I traveled to Paris, France. I stayed in Le Marais, an area known to be a “gay neighborhood.” It was noticeable during the daytime as my friend and I walked around. We realized many couples on the street were gay couples, and there were many pride flags and sex positive shops. However, it was the most noticeable at night when we decided to explore the gay bars as two straight women.
We began the night at “El Hombre Bear Bar” and ended up meeting a group of guys in their late 20s and early 30s. We sat outside with them for at least an hour. After chatting it up with them, they took us to a club called “Banana Café.” When scanning the other people in the line, mostly men in skirts and drag queens, and I was just immediately comfortable.
As a Syracuse University student involved in Greek Life on campus, I am used to a very “in the lines” version of going-out. No matter which fraternity I go to, my nights are typically the same. I rotate between the same 3 styles of outfits, mainly all black, and I have to be aware of my surroundings. Every few months a new horror story arises, where a girl is put in danger at a frat, and then it blows over. It's a sad cycle that not too many people are trying to break.
If you had told me even hours before this night that I would spend the entirety of the night dancing on a stripper pole with a 30 year old shirtless man I would have laughed in your face. But that is exactly what I did. I danced, I drank, and I let loose in a way I never have before. Multiple men had their hands around my waist and I was practically grinding on them- yet there was never a moment I was afraid. The men my friend and I went out with had made it so clear that their intentions were truly just to have a good time and meet new people.
I have never felt that safe and secure in an environment where there were so many drunk people in my life. There were no scary men coming up to me and no hands sliding across my lower back when people were walking by me. My hair was frizzy, the dress I wore didn’t fit right and my makeup was probably half melted off my face, but thoughts of insecurity never crossed my mind. I think there were two explanations for this: gay clubs are more accepting and warmer environments, and learning to go out and dance for yourself with zero intention of flirting or having any romantic or sexual interactions is empowering.
However, at one point in the night I ended up getting hit on by a woman. She was flirting with me and being touchy, and I had to explain that I am straight and just a tourist exploring our neighborhood. She immediately backed off and told me to have a great rest of my night- which I did. Thanks to the support of these men (and some women), it was probably the best night I have ever had out to this day.