Love, Loss, & Queer Joy: A Dive into Queering the Map

OCT–11–2023






Words by: Jacob Tolédo
Photo via: queeringthemap


Being a queer person can be very difficult at times and that has a lot to do with location and circumstance. Queer people all around the world who feel like their voices can’t be heard have been using this website that gives you a voice to share your experience whilst being anonymous. Queering The Map was founded in 2017 by Lucas LaRochelle and has garnered over half a million queer experiences all around the globe. How the website works is pretty simple, you put a pin down anywhere around the globe (specifically wherever this queer experience happened) and you tell your story. 

When going through the site myself I caught myself crying, smiling & feeling angry. Whilst some of the experiences in countries where being queer is celebrated, give you a glimpse into queer joy; the experiences that have moved me more have been those in countries where being queer is a crime/not socially accepted. 

“I’ve known I was queer since I was five. I’m an adult now and my family still don’t know and will never know. I’ve worked hard and accomplished so much to make them proud. It’s incredibly painful knowing that all I am and all I’ve worked for would be worth nothing to them if they found out. I’m just happy to have found a group of friends and lovers that accept and love me wholly. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive my parents or religion for making me spend so many years of my youth hating myself and dying inside. As much as I know they’re wrong, I still love them and can’t do without their love even if the person they love doesn’t exist. To my first love, I hope you too find the peace and joy I now know exists for people like us.” 

That’s a story from a queer person in Nigeria, one of the many heart wrenching stories on the map. After spending hours on the map, the thing that brought a smile to my face was that we all have the same need; we all need to be free. My hope is that before I grow old and leave this body, that map will be filled with queer joy instead of pain and cries for help.

‘I want to believe that us queer people will be able to live in peace one day but until then, I hope you all find your people even if it's not your family. Find somebodies or somebody that can help you in your journey to queer joy. 10/10/23’ - My pin, I invite you to drop a pin too.

Check out Queeringthemap HERE or on Instagram HERE