Let’s Keep Loving Trashy Media

OCT–6–2023






Words by: Payton Jones
Graphic by: Araya Peterson


When did terrible movies go out of style? What happened to the Dude, Where’s My Car?’s and Catwoman’s of the world? I understand that the media should reflect reality and be thought-provoking and blah blah blah....but what’s wrong with movies and TV shows that are so bad all you can do is gasp and giggle for 90 minutes? There is something so unique about watching something and not having to search for metaphors or hidden meanings, or use any brain power for that matter.

The most gasp and giggle-worthy of all movies is the Fifty Shades of Grey series. It truly is the most interesting thing I’ve seen all year. When the movies were originally released between 2014-2018, I was too young to appreciate what I was seeing. Yes, there are sex scenes where Anastasia moans whenever Christian Grey is within 5ft of her, but some things you only see when you have shitty movie goggles on. The dialogue, the really peculiar green screen choices and the amount of times Grey straight-up stalked her went totally over my head.

It's not just about sex- it's about the stupidity of it all as a whole. They’re so simple yet gobsmackingly ridiculous that you can’t help but watch and sit there. For example, on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, a SWAT team ambushed cast member Jennifer Shah on camera while the group of women were sitting in a sprinter van. She was indicted on wire fraud charges and the courts used footage of Shah’s extravagant lifestyle filmed for the show, including her Shah-mazing Shah chalet. Viewers could only sit slack-jawed and tweet about what they were witnessing. It was terrible but absolutely amazing.

It’s Christian Grey showing up unannounced at a bar after Anastasia drank too much and throwing her over his shoulder as they leave (???). It’s Jen Shah getting arrested, announcing her comeback for the next season, and making her tagline “The only thing I’m guilty of is being

Shah-mazing!” It’s the things you have to pause, look around and rewind to make sure you didn’t hallucinate whatever you just heard.

So, no, it’s not great, it’s probably not even good. But it is FANTASTIC!