Words by: Kandra Zaw
Graphic by: Isabella Genes
Graphic by: Isabella Genes
“let's grab coffee or smth sometime soon.”
“yes, def lmk whenever ur free”
We never do. We see each other in class, we talk about what we did over the weekend, we laugh at something the professor says. We say bye to each other and again,
“let’s do smth this weekend.”
We do not see each other until we have class again. This time we text each other,
“can we please actually do something?”
“omg yes totally!”
We forget about the plans we tried to make. When we see each other in class, we both start apologizing profusely for not following through with our words.
This cycle continues until the semester ends, and both of us have accepted that we are just each other’s class friend, despite knowing almost every intimate detail about our silly situationship or our feral Friday night activities.
Friend, what exactly is a friend? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as “A person with whom one has developed a close and informal relationship of mutual trust and intimacy; (more generally) a close acquaintance.”
I was never one to throw the term friend around so casually, but coming into college that changed. Growing up my friends were people that I saw everyday and did almost everything together. As we learned to deal with acne and code names for the cute boys in the hallways, we also slowly learned each other’s deepest darkest secrets. However, once college started I noticed many people were very open about almost everything, including myself. I was no longer afraid of telling people about my hallway crush, or that I had one too many drinks and crawled back home. The “friends” that knew about these types of things were not necessarily the first people I would tell about it, but they also were people that I wanted to share it with.
While sometimes it is heartbreaking to not be able to continue a friendship beyond a classroom setting, if it is truly a genuine relationship, it will happen naturally. College is the time to be forming meaningful relationships, but it is also okay to just have surface level friendships. Sometimes, you just need a friendly face to say hi to when walking through a crowded campus, or a friend to complain about your hardass professor with, in class. It does not have to extend past that.
You can tell someone your whole life story and be with them almost everyday all throughout a semester and never see them again, and that is okay! You can think your freshman year friend group will last an eternity, after all you found each other at the very start (when most of us were still adjusting and feeling that separation from home), but that does not mean you have to feel like you owe it to them to continue this relationship solely because you are “day ones.” It is okay to grow out of these friendships. As humans we are constantly evolving, and along with that change is our relationships. Friendships do not always have to mean being with each other 24/7. Sometimes it is okay to simply just wave at them in passing and carry on with your day.